Changed view of “Love”

As I started to evaluate my life I realized the greatest thing I have to offer is love and being an expression of what that really looks like, especially because I have a family and this life I live is not just about me, but I lived the previous years living as if it was. Not that I recognized this at first because I was doing it in ignorance. By ignorance I mean I was in such a dark place that I was blinded by my own choices that were destroying me on many aspects when it came to my thought process with food. I would say I love my husband and my children and wanted to serve them with all that I was. Well all that I was was selfish because I was making unhealthy choices that If I were to continue in that lifestyle it could of ended my life and taken me away from my husband and children. Love I had never really looked at until I looked at how God loves and He is now my example. His love is contrary to how I was living and I wanted to change that. I had to change my focus and direction and this came by being transformed by reading my bible or anything that Is lead by the Spirit of God. My mind was in such a dark place for fifteen years that I needed to change. This meant taking that destructive love that I was loving myself with and feeding my flesh with anything that was pleasurable, but not helpful and start to deny those unhealthy habits. Denial of myself and having self-control in the areas I was out of control was the first part of transformation and doing it on a daily basis. This was just the beginning of so many attributes that I had to change about myself because love is not just something we feel, but something we do even when we do not feel like it. It is a sacrifice and putting others before self and is so contrary to what I was used to because of my own pain and deception. Love is not giving up or giving in when things get tough, or in my case turning to food as a source of escape, but there is continual work involved and it requires endurance and the willingness to do what is necessary to overcome. I have had to choose to destroy that part of false love in my life and choose to love as I was intended to which brings life and favor to all those that are most important to me and that I am responsible for on a daily basis. Because I “Love” my children I will deny them of the things that may harm them or destroy them so love says “no” to destruction in order to teach and mold into wise people, love takes time to lead by example, not just words but words have more power when they are applied. As loving parents we want the best for our children and we hurt when they hurt and rejoice when they do. We tell them the do’s and don’ts of life because we want to protect them and help them to make good choices because we love them. If we did not love them then there would be no instruction or guidance. We would not invest or time if we did not love them. Correction and discipline are part of love and we cannot have the giving part without the denying and sacrifice. God chastens those He loves just as a loving parent does with their own children. I am thankful that He has corrected me and loved me enough so that I wanted to change. Choose to know love and give it.

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