It was October eight years ago when I realized I no longer had to be defined by bulimia. I made a decision to deny that part of my lifestyle and create a new healthy lifestyle. This was not easy because it required and still requires work. The path I was going on was very destructive and I have heard of many who have died living with eating disorders. I know that we have free will and are able to choose blessings or cursings in our life and it was a hard truth to acknowledge that I daily was choosing death with the decision i realized i was choosing. It is now a narrow road that I follow knowing that it will lead to life. No one made me binge and purge on food as a way of not dealing with emotions, but it took me much searching of myself to acknowledge that was what I was doing. It had become such a way of life for me that I knew no other and had to retrain my mind, body ,and spirit to live differently. Practicing this for fifteen years really was my way of life and the only one I knew since I was so immature emotionally and physically when I started. Much healing has happened and continues to happen. I really did not like the person I had become over those fifteen years and obviously did not love myself or value my life. I do love the person I have become, but this has been an adventure of finding who I really want to be and walking in that. I have learned that knowing what is good and beneficial for life does no good or has no reward unless you apply it.